Everybody makes mistakes. Everybody. I have as well. I do make it a point to apologize to people concerned if my mistakes have hurt other people. How can I make peace with myself if I did something that so hurt someone but I've never apologized for it?

Back in college I said something rude to a classmate. I had forgotten all about it, but I never realized that this classmate had taken serious issue to it and it let it fester in her heart for years, carrying hard feelings towards me that just grew with every passing year. Her hurt feelings grew because I never said sorry. And why should I? I never even thought I'd hurt her. I WAS JUST BEING MYSELF.

But the insensitivity of what I had done gnawed at me and it haunted me and I only found peace when I called her up, asked her if she remembered that day in college, what I had done, and that I apologize. She never forgot, and was quite frankly surprised I even remembered. But she appreciated it, and because of this, she was finally able to move on, as I did.

It is apparent someone has very hard feelings towards you. I don't deny this girl is a friend, but man, you have no idea of the kind of hurt she is carrying because of what happened. I saw and experienced this hurt first hand for many years. Nobody can lie for this long and this hard. What would be the point? Why seek to come out with this now knowing it will cause her much embarrassment, and much ridicule and hate from your friends?

You know in your heart she is telling the truth. You know it. You cannot make peace with yourself when this girl is hurting because of what you did, and you go on like nothing happened and say "I'm doing the best I can." That's not good enough.

I won't presume to tell you what you should do. I'm still holding out hope that you know what it is.

And if it's the truth we're really interested in, why not start with what your real name is? I'm signing this with mine.

Mr. Alanguilan,

I respect your work in the industry enough to answer your comment. My real name is Lee Lagdameo.

You have made two errors in your comments. The first is that you only heard one side of the story. The second is to think that whatever applies to you applies to me.

Lee Lagdameo

Mahirap pala pinagdadaanan mo. Buti nakakapag-sulat ka pa ng mga comics. At some point kasi, parang nilalabas mo ang mga sama ng loob, frustrations at iba pang bagay sa mga comics mo.

Diwa del Mundo

Ahem…I hate to intrude but first of all, Lee please kindly air out your side, the details of what really happened. A lot of people may have gotten confused for getting the info wrong. Would you rather keep silent and let people speculate that you are a vicious rapist in the future. Using vague words to justify what you have done won't help. Plain simple truth could set you free.

having regrets lee?

plain simple truth will set lee free and only embarrass her more. if he speaks out the truth, what would that make him then?

hi! hmm…. medyo seryoso, break muna dun. I'm a fan of beerkada since I discovered it on the internet. If it means something, even if I'm only one fan, my day isn't complete without going to the beerkada sites. Na review ko na rin ang lahat strips dun sa site kaya… medyo… i'm clamoring for more. Keep it up Mr. Gregorio/Lagdameo, for ordinary people appreciate what you do. You provide us with a comic view of life that some of us, might not have seen or experienced. Dun man lang, maibalik/maalala ko man lang ang aking kabataan. God bless always!

Hello and for what it's worth here's my two cents in this issue.

I don't know Ms. Lim or Mr. Lagmadeo personally except for blogs, comics and hearsay. As a father with four daughters, what I feel most disturbing is that sexual misconduct (or even the hint of it) is present in this "incident" or whatever you want to call it. To Ms Lim and Mr Lagmadeo please try to find some middle ground and if possible make peace. If that isn't possible then let's all just try to get along.

[8] hi father of four girls,

with all due respect sir, why get disturbed by hearsay? what sexual misconduct are we talking about here? his, or hers? or is there really any? so why be disturbed at all? you are reading BEERkada and PILYA (and a blog header saying '… strips for you..), is it really any shock to read about sexual innuendoes, or such things? I mean come on. you cant expect your daughters to watch disney channel forever. you were a kid too before, but i bet you've prolly seen an issue or two of FHM or other kinky items. im not saying that it's the end of the world and everything is corrupt, but my point is, we're not innocent, nor are we living in the garden of eden.

But I do agree with you, they should find peace. Lee has found his, I hope she finds hers.

Thanks for postin here. It's nice to know that the world is not completely apathetic to the people around them. Just wondering though, have you also posted this in her blog?

[2]
Hmmmm…
People do make mistakes. And people do have to say sorry for them too.

The sad thing is that sometimes, people don't hear each other out. Maybe something _did_ happen before. How do you see it? What is your perspective on it?

There are things that people do and hurt others. Sorry is a powerful word. Owning up our mistakes is humility and it is something that is admirable. If there was something that happened just own up. If you're not sure why this is all happening, why don't you ask?

as long as your conscience is clear, you can sleep in comfort, you can eat without worrying indigestion,
you can smile, you can laugh, you can walk, you can go to the places you like…
i believe you can make more inspiring reading materials.

everything you have experienced has its purpose. life has its own sad ways and yet it has its own funny ways. its up to you on how to deal with it.

s2chard: i could not agree with you more. nothing beats a good night's sleep with a clear conscience. and i can assure you, we are very happy and content indeed. whatever life dishes out, we can handle.

lei, watch your grammar. it sucks.

I don't get it. I thought the comments were about what Lyndon said. I am totally lost.

The quote said in the blog reminds me of another quote that goes like this "Every single person down there is ignoring your pain because they're too busy with their own."

I don't know Mr. L. or Mr. GA personally, much so with their past, so I really can't comment about what has been said in this thread.

But I will comment on the orignal blog though. For one thing, I applaud Mr. L. for admitting his shortcomings. Not a lot of people has the guts to do that. The fact that he said he's doing the best he can is enough for me. If people along the way get hurt or get offended by the things he said or did without his intention/knowledge, then it's not really up to him to correct it, right? How could he? He didn't know. If the offended party is hurt enough with what has been done, and wouldn't want to spend the rest of her/his life with this baggage, then it's up to her/him to talk to the offender.

If we spend our lives trying so hard to correct every little mistakes we did or apologize to all the people that we think we offended or wronged, then, buckle up baby, you need to live a million years to accomplish that. We cannot please everyone. If we try to, then prepare to buy cases and cases of alka seltzer and tums to prevent acid reflux and ulcers.

The fact is some people are just ultra sensitive, you tell them anything and they get hurt right way. Or they could internalize a joke and carry that baggage for eternity.

I can relate. I know I'm not perfect. I have a lot of shortcomings, sure I'd like to please everybody, if and only it's possible. I don't wanna hurt anybody, who does? I can spend my life trying to be perfect, trying very hard not to say the wrong thing or not to do the wrong thing, but let's be realistic here, it ain't possible. Let's be mature enough and try to be happy and do the best we can. If someone wronged me without his intention, I'd let him know that and move on, or if it's not possible to let him know (because of distance, presence), then I will be mature enough to not carry the baggage and move on with my life. I cannot put the blame on other people for every little thing that goes wrong with my life. Life is heavy enough with the present. Carrying the past's baggage will definitely cripple me. What choice do I make? I think it's perfectly clear.

[15] You're assuming that the issue at hand is a "small" one, Willow. Some of the accusations that have been lobbed were definitely NOT small. I don't think that they can simply be placed aside and eventually swept under the rug.

The irony is that Lee Lagdameo's statements have been less than forthcoming about the nature of the issue at hand, and I think that that puts him in a bad light as a result. He looks like he's evading the issue entirely, perhaps even belittling it, and that's not a good impression to give.

I don't presume to know exactly what happened, Willow, but then again, I don't think you should really presume to know exactly what happened either. You're not Lee Lagdameo, I'm not Lee Lagdameo, and unfortunately, only Lee Lagdameo can really answer this.

I don't think Sean mentioned Lee Lagdameo nearly enough in his last post.

With his blessing, allow me to mention the missing Lee Lagdameos for him:

Lee Lagdameo
Lee Lagdameo
Lee Lagdameo
Lee Lagdameo
Lee Lagdameo
Lee Lagdameo
Lee Lagdameo
Lee Lagdameo

Thank you.

[16]First of all, I agree with you Sean. Only Mr. L can really answer to what happened.

As for the things that I have said, I am not assuming that leaving the baggage behind applies to small issues only. I, Willow have been through traumatizing events in my life. I was beaten up as a kid by a parent, has lived thru life with separated parents, was forced to look after myself at young age, putting myself thru college and such without anyone's help, has been thru a tormenting heartbreak, has survived numerous suicide attempts, has gone thru numerous psychotherapy and still… I am here. I don't consider them small issues. One day, I just decided that, fuck it, I'm the only one who can help myself. I will try to live. Leave all the baggage behind and start anew. I dunno how I did it, but here I am. I'm not mad at my parents. We're best friends now, (unlike my siblings who are still carrying grudges and cannot appreciate the importance of still having parents.) I am not mad at anyone anymore for abandoning me, though I am very surprised that they had great regrets for not helping me out when I was still studying, and they are still carrying that.

I guess my point is, one has the choice of carrying the baggage forever or leaving it behind. If I have waited for people in my life to apologize to me and to right what has been done to me, I wouldn't be where I am now. I chose to have selective amnesia, I guess. Coz really, most of the bad things that have happened in our lives are out of our control.

As for Mr. L.'s comments about "Doing the best he can," that's how I live. I cannot live my life to try to please everybody. But I do know what's right from wrong, and I do know what hurts people and what doesn't, but I don't try to be perfect, coz let's face it, it ain't gonna happen. Is there any other choice but "do the best we can?" And if that isn't enough for some people, then I am really sorry, but if they can't accept that, then they're free to walk away. I am only human. I made mistakes, I still make mistakes and I will make mistakes. The important thing is learning from them and being able to move on after.

[16] *sigh*

i told myself i won't be replying to this thread anymore but here i am again. :p

You're assuming that the issue at hand is a "small" one, Willow. Some of the accusations that have been lobbed were definitely NOT small. I don't think that they can simply be placed aside and eventually swept under the rug.

here, now you are the one assuming that the issue at hand (if any) is not small. you said it, there were accusations, and that's the most it will ever be.

not one of us was there, only the main persons involved. so this, possibly if ever, is an "issue" for them and them alone.

making mountains out of molehills is what would put a person in a bad light, not the other way around. from what you are saying, lee is doing the opposite of above (belittling the 'issue') and that this act is giving the wrong impression to people. im sorry but you are inaccurate because there is nothing to 'belittle'.

to all the other people who are 'concerned' about lee, and his behavior, his morals, his actions, etc.. fret no more. let me assure you that lee is having one of the greatest times of his life right now, and whatever any of you do or say against him would not dampen his mood. i believe someone already pointed out that if your conscience is clear, whatever the others say does not matter, and you would still get a good night's sleep at the end of the day.

lee is blessed and has never been as happy as before. i believe that this would not be possible if he is a bad person or needs to rethink and redo his life.

[17]
For that matter, "Lee Lagdameo", you're not actually Lee Lagdameo either.

I'm NOT actually Lee Lagdameo? Then I must retract my offering of Lee Lagdameos, posthaste!

oemadgaL eeL
oemadgaL eeL
oemadgaL eeL
oemadgaL eeL
oemadgaL eeL
oemadgaL eeL
oemadgaL eeL
oemadgaL eeL

There! Balance is once again restored in the cosmos.

Lei: I'm sorry if I'm giving you the impression that I'm making mountains out of molehills. But I fear for the possibility that the issue is being treated like a minor concern here, when it may be a major consideration in other quarters. If Lee figures that that's his answer, though, then that's his prerogative. I just worry about things.

Willow: I sympathize with you, Willow. Your parents did apologize to you eventually, right? I mean, if you were willing to forgive them to the point where you're friends again, then they surely would have reciprocated the gesture. Besides, one of them was the one who beat you up to begin with…

lee lagdameo is supposed to make him sound cool. leave the dude to his delusions.

[22] Hey Sean, thanks for your concern. You wouldn't believe it, but no, my parents haven't apologized to me, and I don't expect them to. I'm okay with that. Selective amnesia, that's what I use to cope with the blinding torment and despair of life. Besides, they are very old now, and I'm just happy to still have my parents. Time spent apart from them did good. They are very nice to me now, (although they are oblivious to the pain they caused), that's enough for me. I learned not to expect anything from people, even them. If others give you a nice gesture, even the littlest one (like offering you a candy or says hello and means it), it's always a very pleasant surprise.

Yknow, I could have easily taken the easy way out. I could've lived my life being a jerk, taken up revenge, done drugs, waited for everybody to right the wrongs they did to me, and I all I have to say is "I had a bad childhood, my family is dysfunctional, blah, blah, blah…", and people would've accepted that. Then I could go on my merry way and cause havoc again. But no, I chose to leave the old baggages behind. I chose to walk the path straight, without a limp from the heavy burdens. I didn't expect forgiveness from anybody, but I learned to forgive them. I had no control over them, I can't force them to apologize to me, but I have control over my life. And I chose to forgive them instead, and life is much easier.

You're right with one thing Mr. L. Controversy does sell. This topic is the most popular one in your blog.

While I do see the point about "selective amnesia", the problem is that it does not resolve the perpetrator's issues to begin with. There are some things that you cannot just walk away from because you know - and everybody knows - that the perpetrator can simply do it again to the next person he likes.

I'm glad that you're in a situation where you've found peace, Willow, but what if there was the possibility that your mother/father could beat up anyone else who didn't deserve it? I mean, I'm sure that you wouldn't stand for that, regardless of how much you've forgiven them.

[26] Hey Sean, I admire you for being such a concerned individual. You're a nice guy.

I can see your point regarding resolving issues with the perpetrator. In my case, it has been resolved, in a silent way. They are my parents and I know in my heart that they have changed. I don't need no apologies from them. I love them so much, and they love me too. Sometimes, it breaks my heart that I can sense how much they're willing to sacrifice everything just to see their children happy. Besides, when I mentioned that they're old, I mean they're really old. They're pushing a hundred now ;o) Kick my ass, won't they? They'd break some bones doing that ;o)

Kidding aside, if it was a different situation… say, I'm dealing with a person who beats his wife. With no hesitation, he's gonna be going downtown and posing for mug shots with a restraining order to boot.

You are right, "selective amnesia" may not resolve some issues. For my issues, it is sufficient, and at this time, it's the only option I know, but for some people it may not work. I just believe so much in not depending on other people to jumpstart my life. I don't believe in blaming my pain caused by others to stall my life. If I have to erase that memory in my head just to move on, then erase it I will. Keeping in mind that it may not apply in some situation and a more proactive approach is needed.